I’ve talked to many people about how they achieved being debt free, and the one thing they all agreed in is that they all had to learn how to say “NO”
Learning to say NO has become a skill on its own, especially with everyone dealing with FOMO (the fear of missing out. Yeah, it’s a thing) Trust me, I still struggle with it today. It is so easy to always say yes to people. Yes, I can hang out with you at that bougie restaurant. Yes, I can lend you $20 for your bills. Yes, I can pay for dinner this time. Unfortunately, you have to realize that in committing to a financial journey, saying Yes to someone means saying No to yourself. Sure, it’s easy to say yes to just a coffee date, but the money that you spend on the actual coffee and gas going to meet up for that date could have been used for your debt. The $20+ that you spend does not seem like a lot, but it is a lot when you have more than $100,000+ of debt to pay off.
The hardest part of this financial journey is saying no to your friends and family and letting them understand the sacrifices you have to make to decrease your debt. In this part of my life, I’ve emphasized to my family that I have to chose myself and my goals. And letting them understand that this whole thing is temporary.
Yes, it is difficult to say no to the dinner invites and trip invites, but what you are gaining from saying no is far more valuable. Just think that when everything is paid off, you can go to those dinners and trips being financially stable.
I am not telling you to completely eliminate your social life and live in isolation until your debt is paid off. Of course go to that birthday dinner for your mom. Of course have that brunch date with someone you have not seen in years. Just be mindful of your goals. I am telling you that it is okay to say NO to the things that you feel like you are obligated to attend or you fear missing out on. Especially if you know they hold you back from your financial goals. You can miss one Friday night of drinking with your friends. You can miss one dinner date with your family at that restaurant you don’t even like eating at. The people that matter in your life WILL UNDERSTAND.
For me, just by saying no to various lunch and dinner dates, I’ve saved over $500 a month. Just think about it. An average dinner date with drinks can cost up $60.00 per person. There are approximately 8 Fridays and Saturdays a month. So if you have dinner dates every Friday and Saturday (which a lot of people do), that is already $480 just on dinners! That does not include the Sunday brunches and occasional happy hours.
Your family and friends will always be there. They won’t care about the dinner you missed or the lunch date you cancelled. But they will remember the stress you felt about maxing out your credit cards or your stories of struggle to pay off your student loans. And they will remember the extreme joy and relaxation you will have when you pay off your last bill. Those moments are the ones that matter. When you are in that bind where you want to say NO but are too scared too, just think about what you are gaining versus what you are losing when you say NO.
Lose Lose Win 